


all the world's a stage

by spacemanrhys



Category: Stellar Firma (Podcast)
Genre: Also David's full name is David Sivan and they're openly nonbinary, Alternate Universe - Actors, But I just want this to be a funny lighthearted fic, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Gen, Harry and David are friends, Harry and Trexel however.... maybe more...... we'll see, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Will add tags chapter by chapter, human David
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29647101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacemanrhys/pseuds/spacemanrhys
Summary: Trexel K.G.K. Geistman. A Hollywood legend, a 6-time Oscar winner, the guy everyone wanted to interview or talk to on their show… and nobody wanted to work with. Least of all David. Because, to put it politely:Trexel K.G.K. Geistman was an insufferable fucking moron.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	all the world's a stage

David hated this job.

At first, it had felt like they were the star of their own movie. They’d arrive onto the lot, look up at the bright gold Geistman Studios sign on the gate, and simply close their eyes. Breathe it all in. Prepare for a hectic day of shooting, reshooting, re-reshooting, and at least one meltdown from… Him.

Trexel K.G.K. Geistman. A Hollywood legend, a 6-time Oscar winner, the guy everyone wanted to interview or talk to on their show… and nobody wanted to work with. Least of all David.  
Because, to put it politely:

Trexel K.G.K. Geistman was an insufferable fucking moron.

He had been photographed in a naked drunken stupor more times than David cared to count. He’d been through upwards of seven hundred and sixty two PR agents. His break-up with the sexiest man of the year ten years running, Duke Bathin, had already been implemented into high school history textbooks. He was like if Sharknado was a person. Fangs and all. 

And now here he was making his own tv show. And David was hired as his personal assistant.  
Fantastic.

“Y’alright?” 

David was snapped out of their daydream by Harry, one of the technicians. He was a large burly Scottish man, but he had kind eyes and spoke with a soft voice, so David had only been intimidated for a few minutes. They smiled at him and nodded, shifting over on the couch to allow him to sit down too. Harry took a seat and leaned back, letting out an obnoxious sigh. David huffed out a breath that could’ve been a laugh. “What’s he doing this time?"  
Harry covered his face. “The lighting’s too bright, then too dim, then it’s the wrong colour, then it’s broken and he’s fucked off to his trailer.”

David let out a genuine laugh, cutting themself off quickly as the stage manager whipped her head round to give them the evil eye. Harry cleared his throat and waved at her.  
“Hiya, Ms. Piltz!” Harry called out, David wincing as Ms. Piltz’s gaze moved onto them.  
She strutted over, wearing a smile that didn’t quite extend to her eyes. David sat up a little straighter and gave Harry a nudge so he’d do the same.

“Good morning, my wonderful crew! Harry, Trexel wants you on set now.”  
Harry squinted. “He just told me that if I try and talk to him before lunch he’ll stick my head in a chemical toilet.”  
“Yes, well. Remember to hold your breath. Ta-ta now!”   
Ms. Piltz raised her eyebrows.

Harry shut his mouth and got up to leave obediently. “See ye at lunch, David!” Harry called back with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.  
“Uh- Yes! Bye, Harry!” David waved at the technician, before returning their gaze to Ms. Piltz. She was still doing that dangerous smile, that smile that made David feel from the bottom of their heart that she would throw them in front of a bus given half a chance. 

“Er, so, M-Ms. Piltz-”  
“Oh, come now! David! Just because I’m your stage manager doesn’t mean you need so much formality! Please, call me Hartro!”  
“Ah.. Yes. Ha-Hartro. Thank you.”  
“No, thank you. I simply don’t know what we’d do without you, keeping Trexel organised, and not avoiding him all day like some kind of-” She barked out a small laugh “-egregious coward! No, that’s not you, David Sivan.”  
David swallowed. “I, ah… I think I should get on set too, Hartro. In case Mr. Geistman needs… something.”

“Have you even met him?” The question came suddenly, stopping David in their tracks as they went to leave.   
“Have I… Met? Trexel? Well. Not exactly, I-" David shut their mouth, thinking of the right words.   
"My interview was with his agent, and I’ve only been on set for a few days. He hasn’t shown up to any rehearsals.”  
Hartro’s eyes narrowed and pursed her lips.   
“Yes. He does tend to come and go as he pleases. It’s… It’s fun! It’s very fun. Not at all infuriating or unprofessional. We all love Trexel here."   
She was shaking as though her body was literally rejecting these words.

David nodded slowly. “Riiight. Well. Should I…? Go and meet him, then?”  
Hartro blinked. “Oh! Oh, yes, go right on ahead. And, uhm… Just try not to take whatever he says personally.”

David kept their expression carefully blank and nodded again, wandering off in the general direction of the set.


End file.
